You may look for future entries there amongst my other writings

Thanks for reading!

Why couldn’t I be human?  You’re the only one I can ask that.  Mikasis tells me there’s no sense thinking about the impossible.  To admit I’m not in a question to anyone else…  I’m well aware of what will happen then.  These stupid ears, the funny hair.  My disfigurement.  The costumes of a Spinner keep me safe, but my curse, this elven blood holds my true love captive.  So many times I’ve had to resist singing, even humming.  I cannot utter a single note without causing plants to twitch.  I can’t remove my heritage from it, no matter how hard I try.

Disfigurement indeed.  I don’t even glance at the mirrors out of costume anymore.  Every sign of my elven blood makes me hate that uncovered reflection, like it is a parasite clinging to more human features.  A human that could face her reflection and sing, make music to her heart’s content, separate from magic’s evil presence.  It strangles my voice and gives me a daily fight against impulse, I can’t even hum.  Mikasis doesn’t know, but sometimes I bury myself deep in the woods behind the estate, far from human ears and let it go.

In all the stories of evil’s seductive call, none of them are aware…humans are not the only ones that have an impossible time resisting it for long.  I always feel so much better when I return, no longer ready to explode.  Is that evil’s seduction?  It feels so good to give in that it can’t be bad, can it?  And yet, I’m so afraid it is.  If this is what all elves feel with magic, I can see why the entire race went bad.  It’s inescapable.  Elves are no more immune to the spell than their victims.

That is yet another reason I kicked up this OF (Original fiction) character journal.  Basically, while I really get to know Cera, don’t expect the entries to steadily portray the same character.  It is my hopes that through this journal, I will get a better hold on this character.

If you read this and want to participate, I strongly encourage you to prompt me with questions about Ceraia in the comments.

First question to kick off, what makes Cera angry?

Cera is actually extremely gifted with music, both playing and singing, but she must pretend a non-existent handicap/disfigurement renders her unable to sing or play.  The consequences for singing or playing anyway will be an obvious magical effect that would get her arrested, exposed, and killed.  I imagine this would be a source of frustration for her.  So, I think being mocked or criticized for her inability to do this, as a Spinner, would make her very angry.  I had originally planned for Lady Delaney’s sister to be critical of the Delaney’s choice of Ceraia as their house spinner.  Now, for the sake of more tension, I am considering making a few more constant presences at the Delaney estate critical as well.

I think her heritage and her gifts also make her angry on occasion.  She has been raised among a culture that firmly believes magic is evil and elves fairy-tale creatures of evil.  Her “father” early on concealed her appearance with the excuse that she was disfigured.  She has some anger toward her “evil” heritage, most of it a reaction to the fear of it, and frustration from being able to sing, an activity she loves more than anything, but cannot remove the natural “evil” magic from.

When she gets the sense she is being used or taken advantage of she also becomes angry.  In particular, she understands practically any perspective and motive, even if she does not agree with them.  She is aware that she understands more and more readily than the average person, empathizes more, and it can occasionally make her angry, particularly when she doesn’t want to understand or feels that the person does not deserve her understanding.  The fact that she cannot simply get angry like most other people, without understanding when they don’t deserve it, angers her.

Injustice, unfairness, rudeness, apathy, inconsiderate behavior, blindness (figuratively) these are among the things that will irritate her and can anger her.